"This car thing is making me mad!"

Jaimie went to Portland for Thanksgiving. Her friend JoAnn went with her. JoAnn rented the car and will be driving. Jaimie is upset because it is "her" hometown and she should be driving. I guess I always have to drive at home because Ogden is "my" hometown.

"Sound rises."

Jaimie explains to me why I could hear Kirstin's TV in the basement but Kirstin couldn't hear our TV upstairs. I tried to argue with her reasoning and get a scientific exlanation but she was getting hostile. I thought it best to drop the subject.

"I left my camera on the bus."

Jaimie traveled to Australia to spend some time checking out tourist attractions and hotels for her job. (Yeah, right.) I called and asked her about what she has been doing. She told me about a trip through the rainforest and I asked her if she took a lot of pictures. Maybe next time she get's an all expense paid trip to Australia she'll take some pictures.

"Your ride sucks!"

We were at Disneyland riding Splash Mountain. Jaimie was in the front seat and I was behind her. She was worried that she might get wet. And did she ever! She was completely drenched. She made such a commotion that I overheard other people on the ride talking about her. She screamed this lovely quote at the ride operater as she was getting off. I was afraid we might get thrown out of the park.

"My computer won't turn on."

I was in Iraq and I got an email from Jaimie sayiing her computer wouldn't turn on. She was very distressed. I tried to help her out the best I could from 8,000 miles away but we couldn't get it going. Kirstin told me the next day that it was unplugged. When she plugged it in it worked fine. It's amazing what electricity will do!

"I have thin eyelids."

We were lying in bed and Jaimie started complaining about too much light coming into our bedroom. I told her to close her eyes and it would be dark. She told me that the light comes through her eyelids because they are thin. I've never heard of such a thing -- maybe she should sleep in her sunglasses.

"Once I get into bed I don't want to get out."

Jaimie told me this one night after I made her go check on the washing machine. I think she meant she doesn't want to get out of bed until morning. Or does she mean she doesn't ever want to get out of bed? I don't know.

"These people don't know what they're doing."

We were waiting at the Honolulu airport for our flight to Las Vegas. Our flight was delayed for an hour and a half because the pilots seat needed to be replaced. Jaimie was getting so upset I thought she might go change the seat herself.

"Hola!"

This is what happens to a gringo when she consumes too much tequilla. It's Jaimie's most memorable quote from Cancun.

"Don't do it."

This is what I get everytime I put my hand on Jaimie's knee. If I give just a little squeeze she'll freak out.

"If you breathe nothing but carbon dioxide you'll die."

Jaimie told me this was why she could not sleep facing me. It's a good thing she realizes this. I'd hate to wake up in the morning and find her dead.

"It's coded."

Jaimie explains to me how cell phones work when traveling.

"You know I don't like to mess around when I'm driving."

She was concentrating on driving to work when I was informed of this. Were we messing around? I'm not sure.

"Don't mess around with me when it comes to my mascara!"

I was messing around with her and this is what I got. Now I know better.

"You have bread. You don't need crackers"

I was eating chili for dinner. Jaimie made rolls. I put crackers in my chili and was told I didn't need crackers because I had rolls. I don't get it. Am I supposed to break up my roll in my chili?

"Dammit! Don't Pinch My Fat!"

This quotation was made when I was trying to tickle Jaimie. I ended up "pinching her fat" instead.